Jessica Alba

Hot girls make me so happy. So you can imagine the unbridled joy and near painful hard-on these picture of Jessica Alba in a see-thru dress taken Saturday at the MTV Movie Awards gives me. This dress is actually fairly dopey looking, unless you’re turned on by Robin Hood, (and I heard you were. Perv) but the fact that it’s the sheerest fabric ever developed by the world’s greatest fabric making people gets it a gold medal in whatever category that might be.

In non-masturbating news, I feel compelled to mention the pain it causes me that Dustin Hoffman won the MTV award for ‘Best Comedic Performance’. Dustin Hoffman is a lot of things (most of them weird) but funny isn’t one of them. Unless your idea of funny is something awkward and tragic like a birthday party pony collapsing and dying because the fat kid got on. Oh, uhh, never mind. I hadn’t pictured that until just now.

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